Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
