I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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