It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
