i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
