honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
