4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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