i barfeds in our rink
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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