no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
