Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
