Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
