ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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