honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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