Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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