oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
