The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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