Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
