I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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