does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
