i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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