Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
