She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
