What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
