My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
