How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
from now on my penis is your penis
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
