Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
