She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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