well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
