hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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