There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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