You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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