Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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