Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
it was like eating out sand paper
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
