Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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