So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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