I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
