You're a womanizer and a bitch.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
