whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
