I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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