it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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