My brain says no but my pants say off.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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