Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
