Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
