tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Randomize
