if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She said her name was "party"
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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