as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
