i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
