I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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