I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
