i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
