so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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