? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
