obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
A+ Viking dick
I have tasted many bathrooms
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
